Working in end-of-life care often brings profound sadness, but now and then, it reveals something quietly remarkable. Hospice nurse and death care coach Katie Duncan has observed one such phenomenon time and again—a final gesture that many patients make just before they pass. It’s a motion that defies explanation yet offers unexpected comfort.
Katie, a nurse practitioner from Maryland, has spent years at the bedsides of the dying—in hospital ICUs, nursing homes, and hospice rooms. In a recent TikTok video, she shared what she calls one of the most “mystical” aspects of dying: the reaching.
She described how, in their final moments, patients often lift their arms or extend their hands into the air, as if trying to grasp something—or someone—that only they can see. “It’s like they’re trying to hold a hand or touch something above them,” she explained.
These gestures are frequently paired with what are known as end-of-life visions. Some patients begin speaking to long-lost loved ones, others describe seeing bright lights, beloved pets, or even angelic figures. “They’ll smile at corners of the room, or whisper, ‘Mom is here.’ Sometimes they don’t speak at all, but their eyes and hands move upward,” Katie said.
There’s no scientific explanation for these moments, yet among hospice professionals, they’re widely known and quietly revered. Far from being frightening, Katie says these visions often bring visible calm. “They’re not scared,” she noted. “They look peaceful. Whatever they see—it helps.”
For Katie, witnessing this sacred transition is one of the greatest honors of her profession. “We don’t understand it fully,” she admitted. “But it’s beautiful. It reminds you of how little we really know—and how humbling that is.”
Her video struck a deep chord, drawing an emotional wave of responses from people who recognized the moment instantly.
“My mom hadn’t moved for hours,” one viewer shared. “Then she suddenly reached up and smiled.”
“My grandpa said, ‘They’re waiting for me,’ and he looked so happy,” wrote another.
Some shared just a few quiet words: “It’s heaven they’re reaching for.” Another said, “I held his hand and watched. I didn’t speak. It felt sacred.”
For many families, that upward reach becomes a moment of quiet reassurance—proof, perhaps, that their loved one wasn’t alone. In a time so often defined by fear and sorrow, these moments bring a soft kind of peace, a whispered sense that something—someone—is waiting on the other side.
And for caregivers like Katie, it’s a reminder of why the work matters. Not just for the comfort it brings, but for the honor of bearing witness to life’s most mysterious goodbye.